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September 1, 2008 / Dan

Thoughts

I first wrote the vast majority of this post just a few days after Rabun was born. While all of it still applies, it has a little age on it.

I have almost as little experience being a father as one can have. But here are ten thoughts from pregnancy, child birth, and fatherhood from someone who has just come through/into it.

  1. I’m so glad we didn’t find out the sex of the baby before she was born. (I certainly understand the people who do, and we may with our next child.) Besides being an awesome surprise we’ve gotten tons of pink (yellow, lime green, and purple) clothes since Rabun’s been born. I have a feeling if we had known it was a girl, we’d have a closet full of little girl clothes but very little else we actually need to take care of her.
  2. I am so amazed by how much we got peed on. Jessica even got pooped on a time or eight. All down her shirt once. We don’t mind though. I remember seeing parents wipe poop and eat half chewed food and being shocked. I understand now.
  3. I didn’t think I would be one of those people who went around that end of the bed during delivery, but I was. To be able to catch the first glimpse of your child, even just her head, is awesome. I don’t regret it and would definitely recommend it.
  4. I feel so blessed. Really more blessed than I’ve ever felt before. That Rabun is healthy and beautiful. That Jessica is healthy. That labor and delivery went so well. On and on. It also has given me a better appreciation for the other blessings in my life.
  5. Our labor and delivery nurses were awesome. I’m so glad we went to Hawkinsville to deliver Rabun if for no other reason. They answered all our questions patiently, made sure Jessica was comfortable, and were very understanding about the family in and out of the ward. At one point Tara sat next to Jessica on the bed, put her hand on Jessica’s stomach, and bowed her head and prayed. And did I mention that they practically delivered the baby.
  6. We had a good doctor. Not a doctor that’s nice, or sweet, or someone you’d like to take to lunch, or someone who’d hold your hand while you cried about how bad it hurt, but a good doctor. Half of our nurses at the hospital use Dr. Coussens for their doctor. That greatly eased my mind about her ability to take care of Jessica. She can be a little rough and her bedside manner isn’t always the greatest, but she’s a good doctor and probably sped Jessica’s healing time tremendously (although painfully) with what she did after the birth.
  7. Jessica and I made the decision that we would be the only ones (outside of medical professionals) in the room during delivery. Family could come and go at certain times, but when it got time, it was just me, her, a doctor, and some nurses. I think she would agree that this was the right decision for us. This is one of those personal decisions that many people will differ on. For us, being there together brought us closer and allowed us to share something very intimate that we’ll always remember. (Some friends of ours who are expecting recently changed their minds about this and decided to “go it alone”. They were glad they did.)
  8. Plans are good but are not full-proof. Jessica and I had somewhat of a “birth plan”. Nothing written down or set in stone, but we both knew going in that we would be flexible. Jessica wanted to try labor without an epidural, but when she asked for one, don’t think for a minute that I brought up our “plan”. The best way to approach your plan, especially for first time parents, is as a guideline or expectations. But you should also expect that not everything is going to go according to plan.
  9. I had people tell me during high school and college “enjoy these days, they’re the best days of your life.” Those people are stupid. I feel sorry for them really. But they were so wrong. My life just keeps getting better. Having a wife is awesome. Having a kid is awesome.
  10. Time flies. I know it’s cliche, but it’s so true. Rabun is already two months old and she’s starting to smile and she looks completely different (except she still has hair). I’m trying to slow down and enjoy every moment.
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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. JM / Sep 2 2008 7:43 am

    I’m so glad things went well for y’all! I’m glad that you went around “that end”. I’ve always wanted that view myself – but it just never worked out. :)

  2. Jessica / Sep 2 2008 5:32 pm

    This made me cry, it was incredibly sweet. I think these are the best days of our lives as well, it is amazing how things just keep getting more awesome day by day. Thanks for letting me have your baby!

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