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May 25, 2006 / Dan

Da Birds! Da Birds!

Everyone remember the crazy birds in the garage?

Well, a couple days after that video I decided that I would take the nest down. It didn't have any eggs or babies in it, which was a good thing, and I needed the birds out of my garage. All the swooping and swishing was getting on my nerves.

For some reason though, the birds didn't disappear. They hung around. I couldn't really figure it out at first, the nest was gone, so the birds should be too, right? That is until one day when I walked out the door into the house from the garage and saw the evidence. A huge new nest had suddenly sprung up, not at the edge of the garage, but in a light right above the door to the house.

This really peeved me off. I mean, why couldn't the birds just get the point and go somewhere else.

I wasn't really scared of the birds hitting me in the head while flying or anything like that, I figured if they wanted to attack me in that manner, they would have already done so. I was more afraid that one of them would poop on my head as I was leaving for work, thus angering me and causing me to be late.

Ultimately I decided to live and let live, the birds would probably only be there a few more weeks.

And last night, I realized that was a very bad mistake.

Yesterday, I had cleaned out the lights in the stairwell up to the room above my garage. See, despite the fact that these are outdoor lights, the genius that put them in decided it would be an excellent idea to have what amount to half bowls put against the wall with a light bulb in them. Those bowls essentially collect all manner of bugs and dirt and wonderful things. Yesterday would have been an excellent opportunity to take care of that bird's nest, considering it's right next to the other lights and I had already disassembled two of them, but again, I decided that I would let them be, because at this point, I could see some feathers that had been placed their by the parents to make the nest softer for the upcoming chicks. I figured there were eggs in it (although I couldn't see to be sure), I would let them be.

Last night I took the garbage down and grabbed a couple of things out of my car. It was about 9:15 and I was going to get in bed early and catch up on some sleep.

Then it happened.

I as I walked into the house one of the birds swooped down and hit me in the head. This really shocked me, considering that it hadn't happened before. Then the bird flew into the house. I quickly re-opened the door hoping the bird would fly out again, but instead the first bird was followed by his partner in crime, into the house. I now had two birds in my house, was there alone, and had no door on the other end of the room to contain the rest of the house.

After about 30 minutes of leaving the doors open to that room trying to get the birds out, I called my brother-in-law Michael to see what he recommended. He said to turn the lights out and try to catch them with a trash can or sheet. While trying this, both of the birds managed to get past me, one went upstairs, one towards the front of the house in one of the bedrooms.

I contained (i.e. shut the door) the one in the bedroom and called Jessica. I asked her to come over with her dad and brother, who then called back to suggest that I open all the doors in the house, turn the inside lights off and the outside lights on.

Trying to wrap this story up: The birds never flew out willingly. What we ended up doing was hitting the birds with sheets or pillowcases until they were stunned enough to pick up and take outside. It was a lot easier with 3 people rather than just one though. Jessica remained outside until the birds were out of the house, she really can't stand them. We then took the nest down (which did indeed have chicks in it) and set it on a fence post outside. I don't know if they birds will take care of the chicks or not, but I doubt it.

There were now approximately over 400 unique species of bugs in my house from the doors being open so long.

That was my evening. Oh, and to top it all off, I picked up my laptop which had been sitting closed on the living room floor while all this was going on, just trying to read something to chill for a little while before going to bed, and it had bird crap on it.

Priceless.

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4 Comments

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  1. Jessica / May 25 2006 12:19 pm

    For fear of being a really bad wife-to-be, I will resist telling you how absolutely hilarious the whole situation is! I am very glad that the crazy birds are gone, they were rather frightening. Maybe we can put the plastic snakes up this weekend?

  2. Stephanie Perdue / May 25 2006 7:11 pm

    I love this story! I just wish I could have seen you running around trying to get them out….. great post!!!

  3. Jim Perdue / May 26 2006 7:35 am

    So, are you the new Alfred Hitchcock or what?

  4. patrick gillen / May 27 2006 1:01 am

    too funny!
    twice i’ve had birds fly in my house here… (usually around Thanksgiving and Christmas when there is a wreath on the front door) They are a pain, and i hate all the bugs that come in!
    to have good stories, you have to live them. :)

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